Sunday, 7 February 2016

Confessions of a Twin Mom


Here you go, an interview with another twin mom, sharing her experiences as a mom, charity worker and Author. She's an inspiration to all those Muslim moms who think they have no purpose or are lost.

Layla Rodrigues, mom of 3 year old twin boys and a year old baby girl. She is the Co founder of IFAM, a non profit organisation supporting Muslim women and the Director of Women2Women Market. She has just finished writing her first book which Inshaa Allah is aimed at young girls, may Allah swt bless it and make it beneficial for the ummah ameen.
She says she's passionate about supporting women in general and adds "I know too well what it is like to feel unmotivated and lost. It took me a long time to realise that I could achieve anything I put my mind to, with the will of Allaah". 

I asked her what was it like being a first time mom with twins
Her reply : Well we were so excited to finally conceive, we wanted children so much and it felt like it was taking so long to happen as most couples feel like at the beginning. The more people asked when are we going to have children the more our hearts ached and longed for children. You see all my young life I always said I wanted to be a mum, so when It finally happened I could not thank Allah enough!
When we were told we were having twins you can only imagine our reactions, happiness, joy and fear all in one, but most of all grateful. At our first scan we were told that one of the twins heart was a bit weak and as with most twin pregnancies it was common for one not to survive. We had hope and knew that if Allah got us this far, he will help my babies through this and Alhumdulillah He did, one evening after a scan we were told that they were both healthy and had strong hearts Allahu Akbar!.
Pregnancy itself was lovely apart from the sickness and common difficulties associated with a twin pregnancy. Delivery itself was amazing, I did have a normal delivery Alhumdulillah. I was a bit fearful of going home as I didn't know what was in store for me. Alhamdulilah I was in love with my boys and so was my husband, it was and is such a blessing.

I know that you would have probably had your moments....Breaking down, only because when your husband is at work, its you against two Vulnerable and totally dependent infants. How did you keep headstrong at these times.
Her reply: My husband returned to work after 2 weeks and I was on my own, as wonderful as it was having two lovely babies. It was exhausting, late nights as I had to take on all the feeds and changing nappies through the night on my own, as my husband needed the rest so he could go to work the next day. It didn't end there, also waking up early to tend to babies and chores in the house it just was so tiring I longed sleep and company. I eventually got low emotionally and eeman wise. I decided to venture out of the home, I went to play groups and ventured on trips to waterloo, the farms and so much more. I then eventually met a twin mum that was muslim and she became my rock and honestly she still is my rock Allah brought her to me just when I needed a friend to hold me and lift me back up! My husband was very supportive mashaa Allah and eventually life began again Alhamdulilah. I began enjoying my time with my twins and being a mum

How did you survive the first year! 
Her reply: I am still very strict with routines with my twins, we have time to eat, time to sleep, time to learn etc. I won't get into timings but it's important you have a routine with twins. This helps with making home life and parenting easier, this also instills structure from the beginning and I highly advise starting this from 3 months onwards if you have or are having twins.
Potty training was a nightmare!! but we succeeded before they turned 2 years old. I would definitely advise in doing it together instead of separate times. The twins will push each other as they tend to copy what each other do. There will be lots of mess, be prepared for it and introduce the potty at least 2 weeks before actually starting the process so they can get familiar with it. Whatever you do, once you start keep at it and don't give up. 

How do you manage all your volunteering work with the 3 kids
Her reply: Running a charity and a business along with all the other things I do and being a mum and wife is not easy. I would not advise any mother to attempt it. It is hard work and at times you feel as though everyone matters except you.
I am pulling back on everything on the basis of having more mum time as my children are older and need me more. I don't plan on stopping everything but working on having more balance and enjoying life more. 

Finally, now that your twins are 3, what advice do you have in store for twin mommies.
Her reply: My advice to any sister that has one or two children is prioritize, there is time to do everything you want to do. There is no rush and your children need you right now. Don't also forget YOU! Your body has rights over you, Your husband has rights over you and you need to remember that.
We are first and foremost mums,wife,daughters and then everything else so do things in order. I am not saying you should not try to achieve your goals, I am saying really truly consider if achieving it right now is good for you and your family.
I pray Allah swt makes it easy for the twin mummies and gives them the strength that is needed to take care of their babies and themselves Ameen. 

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